If my skin wasn’t flesh, but was tinfoil, I’d probably not only be left-handed, but I’d be a leftover. I guess the real question is, Would you rather make love to me or make dinner?

“I could write from anywhere, including the moon, provided I had a pencil and no…”

“Growing up, I went through an awkward stage. It lasted from birth to last Tuesd…”

“After learning the foreign language Gibberish, I became a dream spokesman.”

“In life or death situations, my father has only been there once for me. So I'd …”