If sharks really can smell blood, then I’d imagine they’re all salivating over my erection right now.

“He’s not my son, but his last name is Myson. Same spelling, big difference.”

“Feeling depressed? Lift your chin up, pull your shoulders back, raise your arms…”

“She called and said she had to cancel tomorrow. “Cancel tomorrow!” I shrieked. …”

“Orafoura once asked me how I became who I've become, and I replied, "I was born…”