If taxis were patriotic symbols, I’d flag one down on the Fourth of July.

“I enjoy reading books by way of subtitles from the movies they got made into.”

“A shirt is a dress, if you have short enough legs.”

“The important issues, once you’ve taken them on, you can’t take them off. What …”

“Selling flesh-tearing torture devices for more than $55,555 dollars, now that’s…”