If there were a speedometer that went from 0-1, that’d measure how fast I fell in love with you.


“I love tables. And dancing. Oh, and I love table dancing, although Grandmother …”

“A blanket could be used to sell two-legged tables to one-legged men. This very …”

“I called my father, but he pretended to be sleeping at first, then claimed not …”

“I have bread, water, and love—what more can a man ask for? How about pasta, win…”