If you don’t cover your mouth, a yawn is an invitation for a blowjob.

“I decide to scope out craigslist to see all the vibrant economic employment opp…”

“The number 12 is good, the number 123 is better, but the number one is still th…”

“She’s my compliment. That’s a kind way of saying I’m lacking.”

“My grandpa doesn’t even have a grand to his name.”