If you try a joke a second time and nobody laughs, don’t tell a different joke—tell different people.

“Do not oppose my opposable thumbs. If you do, we’ll have a thumb war.”

“There is one tree in Gainesville I call "Grandfather" because it looks like a g…”

“I can throw an orange like a baseball, but I can’t eat a baseball like an orang…”

“A karate black belt would make a great blindfold on a kidnap victim, after you …”