If you want to see how fast I run, just give me a football helmet and notice how my helmet collects bug carcasses like a car bumper.

“I’m a poor worker. The quality of work I do is excellent, but I make no money.”

“I was reminded of my ex girlfriend the other day. It’s amazing that something a…”

“Ah, the good ol’ days. I remember those days. That was before your time. It was…”

“I want to design sleeveless jackets for armless men. I'm still trying to work o…”