If you’re a cannibal, an Olympic sprinter would be considered fast food.

“People ask me all the time, “Jarod, how come you are so much more romantic than…”

“If love had the texture of a turtle, and the taste of a rabbit, would you say w…”

“Your dinner is mocking me. I’ll kill it and eat it.”

“If this book looks like it took me 15 minutes to put together, that’s because i…”