If you’re going to hold a grudge, at least put on an oven mitt before you pick it up.

“When the tax man cometh, lie about lying on your taxes.”

“A brick could be put on the end of a scale, to determine if the other end of th…”

“I’ll get a gift for you, but I’ll give it to someone else to give to you, so th…”

“Twitter—up to the minute minute details.”