I’ll be 30 in April. My birthday is March 5th.

“I poured a compass into my coffee, to give the flavor some direction.”

“The earliest I’ve ever been late is on time.”

“I love running. I’m not into marathons, but I am into avoiding problems at an a…”

“I met a guy who had an interesting job. He was a meat cutter, or a meat slicer,…”