I’ll name my firstborn child Squiblob, after his mother.

“My mother-in-law scared the hell out of me. But it’s cool, because the stench o…”

“Love has a glow, like a neon light having sex with a pack of hi-lighters, only …”

“A shirt is a dress, if you have short enough legs.”

“Those responsible for our economic depression have been found irresponsible. Th…”