I’ll only date a girl if she has a lot of class. And if she is 18, I don’t care if that’s a high school class.

“A brick is what the aliens gave me to communicate with them. It’s easy to opera…”

“I bought my groceries and they included free bags!”

“I ran over some dog poop on my drive home last night. But I didn’t feel bad, be…”

“Every time the wind blows I think of her. I wonder if I could generate electric…”