I’ll put an oven mitt on before I handle anything hot—including my penis.

“When everything is working out for you, it means you are in the wrong gym.”

“I love women’s breasts. I love how they don’t blink when I stare at them.”

“My favorite snack is vagina. The only thing I hate is unwrapping all that saran…”

“Love doesn’t spend its time watering your plants. But it might bubblegum swank …”