I’ll put some ice in your coffee, to cover up the fact that it was already cold and old. I do this because my love for you is slightly warmer and newer.

“The wind blew my words away from you. So while I told you I love you, the phras…”

“My eyesight isn’t what it didn’t use to be.”

“The term “global audience” is misleading and meaningless, but I’m proud to say …”

“If I were a professor, I’d bring my cat to class. I’d be silent until it meowed…”