I’ll wait until your mouth is full of food before I ask you a question. That’s just the kind of gentleman I am.

“If you don’t cover your mouth, a yawn is an invitation for a blowjob.”

“It is Father’s Day today. I should probably call all three of mine and say Hell…”

“Don’t invite me to my birthday party until the day after it’s happened.”

“My sheep pants don’t make me one of them. However, 37 Brantleys made an appeal …”