I’ll write something that’s 111% true. It’ll be so true that it’ll be 100% false.

“Love is what you make it. Unfortunately, I can’t make it today, as I have a doc…”

“My printer printed off blank pages. Is my printer out of ink, or do I just have…”

“My forehead is starting to get wrinkled, but you’d hardly notice it because all…”

“Orafoura paid me in pajamas, and I let him because the pajamas matched his plai…”