I’ll write the time on my wrist, and I’ll cover it up by wearing a watch.

“Sure, I pee in the pool. But that’s only because I don’t have a sink big enough…”

“The Mythical Mr. Boo is so mythical the he always likes to be the centaur of at…”

“I think eulogies are wasted on the dead. It’s the living who need to hear kind …”

“The woman of my dreams was tired. The woman of my dreams always lets me sleep i…”