I’m 32 years old and I’m tired. It’s because I haven’t drank enough coffee. If I had, I’d probably only be 29.

“On second thought, maybe “Penis on a Stick Ice Cream Parlor” is not such a good…”

“The sun is a flower, and it burns my goddamn nostrils like the scent of love, w…”

“My close friends are fond of telling me that I put the “yalt” in loyalty. Well,…”

“She told me she has her eye on me, so I said, And what do you have your other e…”