I’m a felon, though I haven’t been arrested for it. I’m guilty of stealing large quantities of love.

“Though my stomach is only the size of a pea, I could eat two politicians’ brain…”

“I am quite possibly the world's bravest coward. I have never backed down from b…”

“Night—it’s the only thing that will cover up one of my black moods. Good thing …”

“People say I can handle pressure, but there is one sporting competition where i…”