I’m a man of leisure. That’s because I have an English degree and can’t get a job.


“If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I reminded them of Orafoura’s …”

“If I’m going to write a book every American will want to read, it’s got to have…”

“In all four years of high school, not once did I make the football team. The ot…”

“Call me Jack Sonville. It’s not just my name—it’s my location. I’d love to move…”