I’m a poor worker. The quality of work I do is excellent, but I make no money.

“I don’t like dirt, because nothing is dirtier. Except politics.
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“Brown ties are barely even good enough to wipe my ass with.”

“I dated an IRS agent, and I cheated on her. Not with a woman, but on my taxes.”

“You might think there is nothing more patriotic than dying for your country, bu…”