I'm asexual, though occasionally I'm attracted to inanimate objects. Mainly tube-shaped objects.

“I'm allergic to fingers, so I have to eat pizza with my feet. You should see me…”

“My hair is turning the color of my answer. Maybe I should say yes to keep my ha…”

“Love is the thing that holds life together. Sort of like rind to a melon, cloth…”

“Bah, Alzheimer’s. Grandma wouldn’t be so forgetful if she didn’t always have di…”