I’m going to Australia. But first I’ve got to put on my swimming suit and stretch.

“I don't understand people who say they need more "Me Time." What other time is …”

“I wish I had a crystal bowl to see into the future with. Every morning I would …”

“Before I sold used cars, I sold used horses. Mostly to glue factories.”

“A burial should be more than a fire pit, arena seating, and a squirming politic…”