I’m hungry to win. I should enter a hotdog eating contest.

“I get Gulliver’s Travels and Thousand Island dressing mixed up.”

“I want to be a man of letters. All 26 of them.”

“I’ve got semen stains on my shirt, and spaghetti stains on my underwear. Ah, bu…”

“When someone asks, Dogs or cats? I usually say, For what, dinner?”