I’m in the Just Under A Decade club. That’s how long it took me to get a four-year degree.

“The couch was green, so I felt comfortable wiping my boogers on it. I just wish…”

“It was a cover up. I could tell by the dust jacket.”

“I don’t look for faces in clouds, I look for clouds in faces. And the best plac…”

“I put all my eggs in one basket, and then I jizzed all over them. I'm a natural…”