I'm not afraid of death, I'm just not sure there is life after the honeymoon.

“She wants the kids, the cars, the house, and the white picket fence. I said sur…”

“Don’t bother calling the cops, because nobody can find me here. I know, because…”

“A brick could be shoved in your buttocks. You know, for your enjoyment.
”

“The earliest I’ve ever been late is on time.”