I’m not gentlemanly. When I’m gentle, I’m not manly, and when I’m manly, I’m not gentle.

“The Frosted Flakes sales team once described me as “Flakey.” I was highly flatt…”

“If I were to hold up a bank with my index finger and my thumb as the “gun,” the…”

“My workout partner is a cat. We nap together. He spots me a place, and keeps it…”

“We made love like an earthquake, which was nice because neither one of us had t…”