I’m not good at talking. Can’t I just nod my way through a conversation? It’s better than nodding off.

“My asshole smells like a paper mill. Three cheers for being a writer.”

“Though my stomach is only the size of a pea, I could eat two politicians’ brain…”

“I just realized my reality, and I’d like to say No Thanks. I’m going back to sl…”

“I got your love out of the umbrella cabinet. I hope you weren’t saving it for a…”