I’m not waiting until my hair turns white to become patient and wise. Nope, I’m dyeing my hair tonight.

“I would consider myself a regular at my favorite bar, but there’s nothing norma…”

“I’m the Robert the Bruce of Bruces. I’m also the Robert the Bruce of Roberts. 
”

“I wish I could grow out a beard, but my employer won’t let me. Also, Mother Nat…”

“Would women find vampires even sexier and more romantic if instead of fangs the…”