I’m now solidly in my mid-thirties. I turned thirty, three days ago.

“I won’t allow anyone to buy you a clock. Not on my watch.”

“If I replaced my ears with conch shells, would you surf on the sound waves?”

“Would a suit of armor make women feel as invincible as a sexy pair of shoes?”

“Three people are interviewing for a job. The first thinks his odds are 33.3 per…”