I'm off to my first Toastmaster meeting. You know, motivational speaking is a multi-billion-dollar industry. Well, that seems like enough for me to get by on.

“I’ll refer my clones to businesses and negotiate a better price for myself. And…”

“If you’re hungry, eat one of my new starvation pills. They taste like silence.
”

“Conventional wisdom holds that water is liquid at room temperature. Well, not i…”

“I think good advice for a father to give to his only son would be, "Don't make …”