I’m opening a restaurant called “To Go.” You’d like to go to To Go, but would you believe it, we won’t have a drive-thru or carryout option. Or bathrooms.

“He had a new girl, and I told him she looked like Marilyn Monroe. He smiled bec…”

“Somebody tell Uncle Sam the ultimate stimulus package is a bottle of Viagra.”

“You’re as likely to see me sleeping on the job as a snooze is liable to grow le…”

“Most people buy the highest quality television sets, only to watch the lowest q…”