I'm the Chuck Norris of Chuck Norris quotes, and I make love like Chuck Norris, only Chuckier.

“I’m in love with the customer service at Walmart. And by customer service I mea…”

“A brick could be used as a flashlight. What, still dark? Check the batteries, b…”

“Do something productive, like painting or procrastinating or protesting—which i…”

“If my name were Isaac Newton, would I be a famous no name? I’d have worldwide a…”