I’m thirsting for fame. I’m so fucking thirsty. Somebody bring me a tall glass of saltwater with a side order of desert.

“It reminds me of something Zelda told her friend about me when she didn’t think…”

“If you were to stack up all the stupid things I’ve done, you couldn’t clean the…”

“Greek 201 is always easier than Greek 101, because at first it’s all Greek to y…”

“I water my driveway, and I drive a hard bargain to work (it gets great gas mile…”