In a depression, attendance to sporting events goes down, while the percentage of people fornicating goes up, because sex is free. I know, some of you are probably thinking, Free! Where do I find those hookers?!

“If you come by my place, you might see a wheelbarrow full of broken bricks. I b…”

“Love is to beer as I am to drunk. And you say I’m not romantic. Shoot, I’m so r…”

“Thor again tutored me in the seventh grade, when I was learning Algebra. Algebr…”

“I don’t need to actually make my product safer. All I need to do to make it saf…”