In my closet I have boxes and boxes of secrets. These boxes are all empty, and that’s how you know they’re filled with secrets.

“Good art is like a sexy pair of lips—it has the potential to say so much, but p…”

“How many birthdays can you fit in a shoebox? I guess that depends both on how o…”

“With gift giving, if it’s the thought that counts, then a picture of a Mercedes…”

“I’m lyrically illiterate. Actually, more accurately, I can’t read music.”