In the name of freedom and redistribution of wealth, I’ve decided to grow a beard on my chest.

“They should make bubblegum that tastes like mashed potatoes. You know, for love…”

“I’m not opposed to new people, I just don’t like their packaging (diapers).”

“A being of light for a pet wouldn’t be furry, but it would keep you warm—and aw…”

“When you said you were ugly it was the most untrue thing you’ve ever said. Well…”