Instead of a motorcycle gang, I’m thinking of starting up a unicycle gang. We’ll be hell on wheel. (My first recruit will be a woman named Helen Wiel.)

“I carry a door with me wherever I go, because one, it’s symbolic for the opport…”

“You can have your cake, but you can’t eat it. You have to sit there and watch m…”

“Give me 10 pins and a hardwood lane, and I’ll bowl. Just as long as that bowl i…”

“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked int…”