Instead of burning the midnight oil, you should try selling it.

“I once said, “You put what you get, and you get what you put.” Now I’d like to …”

“I decide to scope out craigslist to see all the vibrant economic employment opp…”

“Handcuffs barely wrap around the girth of my penis. I should run for Congress.”

“I’m the kind of guy who turns my fan on in winter, only to then go and add anot…”