It was a dumb mistake, sleeping with her, and I learned from the experience. Still, I’d gladly make the same mistake tonight if she calls.

“We had sex by the fireplace. I remember because my waxy nipples started drippin…”

“My sword can cut through butter like water. Likewise, my tongue can cut through…”

“I have pride in my name, because I have pride in myself. I do not represent my …”

“I always leave the toilet seat up. It’s just easier to wash my hair that way.”