It’s a cliché to say that men think with their penises. But it’s a fact. And penises are notoriously stupid. My penis, for example, probably only has an IQ of 144, or about 12 times its length in inches when limp.

“I thought she was sexy until I noticed she had a beard.”

“A brick could be used to wipe your ass with. You know, if you already live some…”

“I know her name. I remember because I forgot. That’s one of the joys of love. W…”

“When my grandma moved, she didn’t know anybody. But that was partly due to bein…”