It’s easier to hide your smoking habit on a foggy day. Let that be a lesson for you and your secret lover.

“My name is a half an hour early, but my body is on time.”

“I’m such a germaphobe that I think sanitation gloves should be thicker than box…”

“If green carpet grew on trees instead of leaves, I’d pick off a few cats—with m…”

“Question for your life: If Ted Kennedy made it to heaven, do you think he’s ple…”