It's really hard to drive, talk on the phone, and jack off at the same time. And, amazingly, nobody in the back of my taxi seems to mind.

“A brick could be used to silence your critics. Well, unless all your critics ar…”

“I’d like to assess all the asses on the beach. By hand. I should try to get a s…”

“Aside from myself, there aren’t too many people trying to be me. That may chang…”

“I could have murdered a man today, but by not doing so I saved his life, and th…”