It’s still masturbation if your clone gives you a hand job. It’s also a lot like being a member of Congress.

“I collect sounds. I store most of them in my ears, but some, like the sneeze, I…”

“I asked for her hand in marriage, but instead got the whole body. Love is full …”

“I want to write my own eulogy, and I want to write it in Latin. It seems only f…”

“With 87 other Elvis impersonators, I’m going to take over the world. Starting w…”