I've been trying to start a garage band for over a decade now, but father won't move his car.

“There’s nothing special about politicians as people. Now as animals, they’d be …”

“All drivers run red lights the same way—with a glance in the rearview mirror to…”

“I need a water/glory mix of 2:1. That’d make me piss like a champion.”

“Love is like a corn-dog popsicle, and I’m on the Most Wanted list. Unfortunatel…”