I’ve got a life. I spend all my time dreaming of a new life.

“If my name were Oscar, I’d want to be an actor and win my namesake award and ta…”

“I make believe like asexuals make love—alone, with cardboard tubes.”

“I held open the door for the man who held up the bank. It was the least I could…”

“A blanket could be divided into four even parts and given to three equal people…”