Jarod Kintz is a friend, a lover, and a loner. Jarod Kintz talks about Jarod Kintz, because Jarod Kintz has nobody else to talk to. Jarod Kintz is also a liar and a thief, and that’s why I think he’d make a great politician.


“Just because I murdered a man—my boss—doesn’t mean I deserve to be fired. In fa…”

“I make my own cologne. It’s called “Sweat,” and it’s hard work making it. But I…”

“Politicians are people with easy answers for hard problems.”

“I am the chef of love. Let me utilize your oven.”