Jesus Christ in a cockwagon.

“Then, out of the blue, Aaron Winer saved the day. He took her to some movie and…”

“Having friends is how your life gets fucked up.”

“Look, I was an idiot. I didn't want people to think that I had a crush, so I de…”

“Girls like good-looking guys, and I am not very good-looking. In fact, I sort o…”