Just because I look like John Wayne (at least my liver looks identical to his) doesn’t mean I play cowboy with politics. I’m going to vote for Philo T. Farnsworth for president, and so should you.

“Siamese twins have it great because one can jack off while the other talks dirt…”

“Love is orange, though sometimes it will make you blue. You might see that as d…”

“I let wine breathe. And I hold my breathe, so it can get all the air.”

“If my name were Isaac Newton, would I be a famous no name? I’d have worldwide a…”