Larry Bird looks like a bird, and Johnny Vagina looks like—hey, what is that in the sky?


“I booked a table for two at a five-star restaurant. Rebecca couldn’t make it, b…”

“I would hate to see seventeen people with monosyllabic names like Mike or Ann d…”

“My asshole smells like burnt firewood, and I’ve got firemen calling me. But I w…”

“I’m underwater on my mortgage. Thankfully, I live on a submarine.”